One thing I've noticed being a candid wedding photographer in Dorset is the change in WEDDINGS .
When you think of weddings you may automatically envision a bride in a long white gown walking down a long church aisle with her arm wrapped around her father. The eager groom in a three piece suit awaiting her arrival; The exchanging of rings, long vows and readings, copious group shots, a million speeches following a three course sit down meal, three teir cake and a first dance surrounded by everyone and their neighbours.
The big church wedding?
From my experience, couples are choosing new ways to express their adoration, creating a day that reflects them, authentically. The reality is that only around 14% of weddings are held in a church, and there is a rapidly growing preferences to alternative services such as celebrant led. Despite many weddings moving away from the traditional element there is still an underrepresentation of alternative celebrations particularly in social media, and wedding fairs. Some brides choose a coloured dress, or don a suit. Some weddings have no brides at all, or have two brides or grooms. Ive seen brides mates, grooms people, big wedding party's and no wedding party at all. Some wedding couples are wheeled down the aisle and some choose not to be 'given away' by their father. There is certainly more variety on where you can marry, from woodland weddings, beaches, pubs, castles, even your own home with celebrant led ceremonies creating more diversity.
The day!
But it isn't just the venue that is changing. Many of my couples are focusing on smaller, more intimate weddings. Overall costs per weddings are decreasing, but spend per couple is increasing showing us that couples are considering who they actually want on their day, not who they SHOULD have. Additionally, whilst the ceremony remains the key element and still the most important part, undoubtable; ceremonies are shorter with an emphasis on creating a fun, relaxed, memorable occasion. Not just for themselves but for their guests, including garden games, drinking games, animals, tattoo artists, even DINOSAURS! I've noticed fewer sit down meals with graze boards, bbqs, pizza and finger foods as a preference to enable meal times to continue to provide a form of entertainment and interaction.
Why the change?
It got me thinking, why is this? Now, there maybe an element as a candid documentary wedding photographer that my couples choose me because they want fun, authenticity, and their day captured naturally. But I also think I'm seeing couples more comfortable in planning what THEY want, not what aunt sue wants.... For years, I've personally felt I had to mask who I was to fit in. To be 'professional,', wear black to hide away, do the endless group shots as that is what's expected. May be growing up in a more seen but not heard environment had this effect. Unmasking was scary but so liberating. I do get nervous telling my couples I'm neurodivergent but when I see a wave of release 'oh so am I, you get it!' it's rewarding. Even those who are not (or don't identify with a label) explain how refreshing it is to just be themselves. That they get to let me know they are anxious, or how they behave as a couple, whether this is asexual, want no intimacy or PDA (Public Displays of Affection), or they take the piss out of one another pulling beaver faces, licking each other randomly, or can't keep their hands off each other. There is no fear of judgement, just acceptance. I'm so here for everyone being truly themselves as I honestly believe this is how I get great photographs.
So what should a wedding look like?
In all honesty, that is up to you! Create your own traditions. It's OK to stay together the night before, or see each other before you walk down the aisle. Doing a first look with each other before the ceremony provides a sacred and intimate time and can take the pressure off that first look down the aisle. Other ideas are having a brownie stack for your cake, or have 300 attend or no one attend! At the end of the day, it's Your day, no ones else's so create a wedding day that's authentic to you.
My favourites Unique wedding ideas:
- Stay together the night before
- Celebrant rather than a registrar led service
- Drag Queen as a Celebrant
- Breakfast on the beach with your family followed by a later wedding.
- First look with partner
- Walk down the aisle together.
- Have a friend, child, sibling, grandparent walk you down the aisle.
- Hide the rings under a chair or names in a hat!
- Private vows - do them together!
- Private first dance
- Cake cutting after the ceremony- Drinks and Cake for a drinks reception.
- No cake- have cheese, brownies, sausage rolls, Cuthbert the caterpillar.
- Weddings with under 20 guests
- Big festival weddings - bands, inflatables, garden games (See my activities page!)
- Cider instead of prosecco for toasts!
- Woodland and beach weddings
- Food vans /Fish chips/ bbq food / pizza
- bubbles/clapping/tunnel instead of confetti
- Wedding themes; western, halloween, even Star Wars!
- Beer pong and interact live entertainment
- Speeches before food- get them done so you can relax
- Give your flower to your mum/someone important.
- Animals involved : horse shoes, masks, paw prints, ring bearer
- Wear what you want! Colourful dress, floral veil, no veil, colourful suit
- Shake up the wedding party: Grooms maid/mate, Bride's mate/buddy, Flower grans/flower guys, beer people
